THESE DREAMS……

IMPRINTS

What am I looking for?

Why do I feel such sorrow?

Why do I feel like I don't belong?

Why is it so hard to blend in… In a world with so many moving parts, the majority of them going against my grain… against the fabric of me. Experiences leave me with the feeling of running against the wind in a world full of despair and contrast. Yet I feel so whole in a world that ‘feels’ so broken. Why do I feel as if I'm in a world that's not my own?

This question has plagued me since childhood… "Why do I feel as if I am living in a world that isn't my own?” Then one day… I had a dream… and it liberated me. My dreams, these dreams are… different, they’re lucid, with a sharpness and richness in color. They feel more like memories unlocking… Moving from the subconscious to the conscious.

It began with me standing in front of a one-dimensional picture or scene of the outside structure of a pyramid. The atmosphere around me started to become hazy and blurry as if in reaction to my being transported into the picture… Transported into the structure or perhaps into that time. Next, I felt as if I was inside of the object which I inherently recognized as the inside of a pyramid, it just felt familiar as if I was accustomed to being there. I was standing in front of what looked like one of the walls but this wall was more like a divider, separating something from the general view of the room. It was beige… A goldish beige, and vibrant. I was looking up at figures etched as carvings in the wall that towered me, about four in a row, male female male female. I watched one, the first male pop off of the wall and onto the floor in the same one-dimensional layer as my outer view of the pyramid. His legs bent like a walking papier-mâché figure as he swayed in an almost comedic one-dimensional rhythm. He turned to the right, took a few forward steps to the corner edge of the wall, and made a sharp right as if he was walking toward something hidden behind that wall. Once he turned the corner and I could no longer see him, my direction of sight was focused again on the wall. I watched the next in line, a female pop off of the wall in the exact fashion towards the same destination. The other two followed suit one by one. “I’ve seen these figures before”… Plastered in every Tomb… Every monument of significance in these ancient places in the Egyptian world, I thought to myself in that lucid control as the ‘dream’ was still rolling. When there was nothing left on the wall but their imprints, I felt a jolt of vibration and a change in the atmosphere around me, but this time it was different. I didn’t feel as if I was the target of movement. My vision changed again, it was blurred, I could now see waves of fumes in the air and had the lucid knowing that what I was seeing was exhaust fumes, the result of some ignition. My attention was now focused upward although I could not see past the wall. I knew that ‘up’ was where they were. I was very much aware that I was connected to them, and although they were leaving and leaving me, the connection was not broken. I didn't feel that link to be broken although lucidly speaking, I in my present state of the body did not recognize them. However, it didn’t negate the presence of a bond. My current state of unfamiliarity meant nothing. I was in a state of peaceful confusion. I heard a female’s voice say in a sort of telepathic link communication… “ We’ll be back for you. We’re not leaving you”.

That was it, I guess that was deemed to be enough. I woke up and was left with a flood of emotions. My first reactive unsolicited thought was “Oh shit, they'll be back”. Then my analytical mind kicked in, as a result of that radical thought, and cognized it to something more like “WTF did I just say?!”

I’ve since realized, having been exposed to that gave me.... some sort of a ‘natural’ release… Almost like a cause-and-effect… An action-reaction to stimulus… A remedy for the cure… A cure for my abandonment issues that have been so deeply rooted, that I didn't even know I had… almost imprinted in my soul. It plagued me. I felt even as a child that the family ‘assigned’ to me with the exception of one, was not my own. Whatever harmful acts humanly possibly exhibited by them would never come close to the piercing of my heart as the experience and remembrance of what I was exposed to on that day.... the day of their departure. That realization or memory has left me in a state of peace. Now I can understand and appreciate the richness and the value of having a complete picture presented to me, in this fragmented existence of the ‘human experience’. I’ve since realized many things... Time can not be erased... True bonds are unbreakable, and knowledge is absolute. It’s just a matter of timing... another aspect.... another ‘branch’ in the theory of relativity....that invisible force that attracts objects to one another....curving the space between the two.... until they meet... or rather until they meet again. Consciousness is magnetic. The charge is based on the frequency with which the two resonate, regardless of existing awareness. The charge or information lay in the biofield or what is perceived as the aura.... rippling, extending, and attracting. This rippling effect is what attracts or at times repels with purpose, in an orchestrated rhythm.... and time is the capsule holding the space. As rings of a tree hold recorded information of its existence, so does consciousness. It is its own time capsule, storing information of personal existence, and personal experiences, as imprints to be discovered... at the right time.